Can’t you see that you’re smothering me?

When I was in high-school, one day my friend gave me his phone to listen to a song. I understood nothing properly but it was something about breaking some bad habits. The beats and guitars were ‘cool’ enough to make me listen to it again and within 1 month I had memorized almost all the songs of a band called Linkin Park. 

This happened back in 2007. Believe me when I say this, it was a huge thing. Many boys and girls have listened to LP but I was a timid teenager far away from west in India, who nearly had never loved ‘English-songs’. So something was either wrong or very very right. My high school days, early college days and even after those I always had somethings to go back to. Those songs were like some true friends who always knew how I felt even without saying anything. Growing up, I listened to many; Metallica to Pantera, Beethoven to Eminem. But never again I felt  the connection I had with them. Years passed and the band molded themselves, changed themselves, tried new things. Some were loved, some were criticized. But that connection was never broken. For me Linkin Park was the only Rock Band ‘Who screams but never in rage and only in pain.’

And then came 20th July 2017. I was in office when I heard but I didn’t even realize what had happened. Then it hit me once i reached home. That night was spent with the trusty friends he left behind. The next night too. And the next night too. A boy had a dream of meeting his heroes once in his life. Even if it takes years, even if it takes saving money, even if it takes travelling to another continent, another country. The boy grew up to be a man but the dream never died. But it could be no more. I could dream no more of seeing them together, hearing them together. He is no more but he has left me friends to be with, to rely on.

Then why the fuck does it hurt so much damn it why the hell does it hurt so much?


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